my daily drill;

coffee. i'd consider myself a coffee drinker. not a serious one though, but im learning to appreciate them nowadays. the bitterness from an early morning cappuccino just does the kick. my first sip would leave me content just picturing how my day will be like with tasks and clearings. the rest of them just works along as i go.

my weekend was a fly by, not surprisingly. ive got a lot on my mind, but really, slowing myself down, reminding this panic self to stay calm. there is certainly no necessity to push things forward. i forget my age sometimes. i feel 15 most days, and certain days im 33. im hardly 24. how do people my age usually act any way ?  facebook doesn't do much help. at 24, some are happily tied , some, happily high. its interesting seeing how many things turned out for so many random acquaintances. i'm happy at where i am. i should be.

by nature, i notice that im often quick when it comes to responding to situations. sometimes too quick for my own good. often times, this natural reaction protects me from unnecessaries. i snip things off and move on. i drop excess baggage and walk on. times hit me where im forced to look back and collect what ive dropped realizing perhaps i needed that extra baggage. it was always a matter of trial and error. making mistakes while i'm at it, and seeing how it'll serve me then.

not very long ago i've decided to start placing myself first before everyone else. they call it the first child syndrome, where most cases, we find ourselves always placing everyone else's need first instead of ours. making sure everyone is pleased, everyones comfy, and alls good to go. while that has served me quite much, i realized how important it was to take some things for myself. and realizing that sometimes, i needed that self. because at the end of the day, when all else goes away, when support becomes no longer available, i am left alone to deal with the things i signed up for.

so here's the drill.

sign up for things you know very well you can follow through on. something you're comfortable with. something you wont wake up and realize how things could have been different. something that challenges you for the better. a thing that you wont end up complaining about, a thing that you are willing to give it way to fail you time and time again without loving it any less.

tough drill. time to find something worth the pain.