hooked ;

because nothing heals the heart like the Quran does. every day, it gets better. every day, you're given more hope.

i couldn't stop thinking about my gorgeous kids for the past few days. no, i'm not married yet. i refer to the young ones i had the chance to share my knowledge with last weekend.

as i sat to have coffee with gshrn yesterday, we threw the first subject to the table. university. which revolved around corporate governance and assignments. conversation extended to what we believe should/could be done to fix the problem. she mentioned about watching 'inside job', which quite honestly to me, was ridonkulous. how could you have the same people who messed up the economy, still in the system? it left the poor, poorer, and the rich who gained from the corrupted, falsified practices became richer, and surprise, surprise, richer than ever.

what are ways to remove greediness in a person? unless the person has religious awareness, i cant see any other possible, effective way in removing that.

so we had our talk over iced chocolate, really. not coffee. because the weather permitted iced chocolate over coffee. and i broke a glass by accident. which was a first. all in all, a good catch up session. did i ever mention how love strong, productive conversations like these? my girl was talking about how she's deciding to do honours, which, i strongly believe she would score greatly at. she's a natural genius. may Allah guide and bless her soul.

i walked home. passed rymill park, where it was calmer than every other place at that time. ducks running here and there in groups, being fed by a family of 3. it was a beautiful sight, and that was when i thought of Sadika.

Sadika had a really pretty face. Her forehead was wide. Wore a blue hijab, with a matching blue sweater and blue track bottoms. She walked in the door confidently, alone, looked for a seat, and started mixing around with the rest of the girls. And then came in this other little girl, i couldnt tell what she was wearing. it was like a dress, and the hijab she wore was different than others. she did look as if someone was to come and eat her. carefully making her way in the class, she was cautious, her eyes barely blinked as she scanned into the class. and thats when i heard Sadika shouted,

" Lybaaaaaaaa !! "

she said ever so loudly, ' Lybaaa ! Would you like to sit next to me Lybaa? '
Lyba nodded slowly.
Sadika grabbed a chair, and signalled to Lyba to come over her side. Lyba walked to her, eyes still barely blinking, she just stared at everyone while she was at it.

when the class was ready, i was given their small table to help out with. i sat on a small chair like theirs, and started,

" Assalamualaikum, my name is Zahirah, and i'll be assisting miss Sfyh today. Can we go around the table so i could get your names? lets start with you, "

every little girl shyly introduced themselves, and then it came to Lyba. she just stared at me, almost blankly, with eyes that again, barely blinked.

" what's your name honey? "
- stares into me
" that's okay, you don't have to be scared, i'm sure you have a name, do you want to tell me?"
- stares without blinking. slowly shakes her head

" Her name is Lyba, and she's shy. but she's friends with me, so i can help you with her. cause she talks to me,"
- " i see, and whats your name?"
" my name is Sadika,"

and that was when it all started. you see, Sadika had this really great heart. she had a big heart. so big that she was so concerned of Lyba, wherever they went, they'd hold hands together. She'd make sure that Lyba was happy, and laughing. she involved Lyba in every conversation she had with the other girls. and defended her when they all started pushing Lyba to speak when she did not want to.

it took me quite a while to get Lyba to communicate with me. every question i asked, Lyba would whisper the answer to Sadika, and on her behalf, Sadika would answer it for her. they were always together. they went for recess together, went to toilet breaks together, they would hold hands, and they would laugh to each other.

i really just wanted to hear Lyba speak to me, but couldn't quite fathom why she wouldn't. she looked more scared than being shy. and that was something i spent most of my evening trying to figure out.

we had the last hour for hafadhan - memorization of the Quran. and again, Lyba was placed under my care, as one of the girls that needed to memorize Al-Fatihah and just Al-Fatihah. i started off by getting them to read aloud together with me. and subhanallah, they did, ever so enthusiastically.

" Alhamdulillah, that was wonderful. Everyone is so clever ! Now, lets try reading one by one. Who wants to go first? "

seemed like the trick question would always have to be ' who wants to go first? ' , and you'll get hands being thrown to the air with excitement, with them going,

'Me !! me, me, me, me !! '

though they had the book infront of them, i could tell that they were reading it based on memory and hearing. none could hardly point out to where they were reading. but brother Muhammad mentioned at this stage, it isnt important yet for them to know where or what they're reading, just pure memorization. every girl took turns to read it individually out loud to me, and then there was Lyba.

" Lyba, its your turn, do you want to have a go? "
-shakes head. stares into me like i was going to eat her
" What iff...I sat next to you, and you could read it to me..then they won't have to listen to you,"
-slowly shakes head. still staring

i moved my chair and positioned myself behind her.

" sweetheart, come and read to me. just whisper to me, thats okay, the rest wont hear you, "
and Subhanallah, she finally did !
her voice was so soft, i have to admit i could barely hear her. but i knew she was reading, i corrected them, and she finished reading.

it was then that i knew, Lyba needed that approach. she was shy, but i should not give up. i needed her to feel comfortable with me, and i would make it a point to make her more confident in the future.

Wahhaj, was another case. Almost the same as Lyba, except a lot harder to get her to speak, I had to put her on my lap, hug her, and then only she was willing to read it to me. To my surprise, i felt a tiny hand squeezing itself under my left palm on Wahhaj's lap. It was Talilah's. she smiled at me and gripped my palm as i was reading the Fatihah with Wahhaj.

' miss, i cannot hear anything ! is she actually reading? '
- ' yes she is Talilah, she's just a little shy, '
' she doesn't have to be shy, we are all learning, '

indeed my little one, we are all learning.