begin again;

think it'll take a while for me to get over a few photos on my desktop folders. but thats k. it takes time. eventually, we all get sick of one thing thats being overplayed in our heads. i guess

great news is that ive officially signed my life away with a respective company here. great news is that i am very much excited. great news is that i am soon able to help out where i can for my beloved king and queen. great news is that ill be a level higher in life. more responsibilities, more ability to contribute as much as i can towards things that can bring good to ummah, inshaAllah.

not so great news is that i'm pretty much nervous of it too. not so great news is that i'm missing my king and queen already. not so great news is that i'm not entirely sure what happens next, but i guess i'm just going to have this one flow nicely.

i cant believe that its finally here. i hope ive done well so far. i  pray that my parents are proud of me, and i hope i can continue on making people happy with who i am and what i am. i hope im a better muslimah in this. the effort must double, no ? life was made for us to struggle. because paradise isn't something easy to gain. we must struggle to earn our place in Jannah.

i tagged along Sfyh to her weekly class on Saturdays at a community hall. She spends her saturdays teaching little, gorgeous kids, age ranging between 4-6. MashaAllah they were such beautiful, bright, enthusiastic little girls. With beautiful names which made my heart bloom with so much adoration. Some that i could still clearly remember were, Hajara, Muntaha, Sadika, Lyba (Laiba), 'Aroush, 'Aida, Sumeya, Amina, Wahhaj, Fadwa, Janeeta, and Talilah.

The challenge with these wonderful kids was that, they could hardly focus in class. Imagine attention span of say, the most, was 5 minutes. and there they were fidgeting, moving around, wanting to have a break, wanting food, bored. the first hour was to teach on arabic language. i thank God for my iic days, my knowledge is a bit rusty, but the basics of it, i still have them in the back of my mind. they were so quick in grasping knowledge. they remember quite easily, alhamdulillah. and the joy of hearing them recite what i taught them is just mind blowing. it was very much one of the best feeling ive ever had. and i wonder if this is why teachers love what they do and why they do them.

after arabic class, was islamic studies. they were given a picture to color, but to their disappointment, no color pencils were provided that day. and you could see sad faces and whinings being thrown around the room, Sfyh was great with them. she is very good with kids, and knew what they would be excited about. she offered them free flower stickers, and heart stamps for every right answer to her question. this got them all on their chairs, enthusiastic, all ears to what she has to ask them.

for a minute of this wonderful sight, i thanked Allah for choosing me to witness such a great process. these muslim kids, growing up in a country where islamic knowledge is in lack, and its these wonderful souls like Sfyh and a few other women that help builds the knowledge, instil them inside these young muslimahs where they can, hoping, inshaAllah that they will one day be able to teach back to their kids, or other kids. we are all dependent of each other for this.

and to look back to what my country has. alhamdulillah, we have all the knowledge, the facilities, the convenience of accessible islamic knowledge, and yet we are still not fully utilising them. yet we are still arrogant, ignorant with the things we know, and picky with the things we want to know.

if only everyone else could see the look in their eyes. that look of excitement, enthusiasm, and thirst for knowledge. then one would realize how lucky we are to have what we have, to know what we know, and probably start adjusting our views and contribute on ways that could help implement a system for our youngsters wherever they are to appreciate what they have. and to make use of every single convenience given to them. rather than waste their lives away.

i think i just found another purpose of life.

it really does not matter where we are, i guess when we open our minds and hearts to new approaches, new culture, new surroundings, we will be surprised with the things we may find. i think that is highly crucial for people to realize even the smallest act of a good deed can go a very long way. like recycling, like teaching, like volunteering. it comes back to us in the form of future generations that gets to live in a more positive, supportive environment.

and i would want these for my little ones. inshaAllah, God willing.