so i really am finding it hard to even shower these days, every single task i do has to have like at least a 10 minute waiting time to see if the boys are all set for me to leave them for a bit. ive been meaning to blog about my birth to our precious little Umar, (i should really stop calling him little cos hes nothing close to "little" hes a cute chunky baby boy and i love it! ) - and here i have a window as both boys are sleeping and they usually sleep long - Umar wakes after an hour or so, but ive jusssst put him down after his feed so we're good for another hour. ok shut. lets do this.
--
we were overdue by, almost a week.i was scheduled for an induction for the 31st of dec at the hospital. when we went for our last check up, the doctor did a vaginal examination (ve) on me and i was already 2cms dilated. i was pretty happy - i think it was still 4 days away from my scheduled induction date, so i knew we had plenty of time to get things going.
wrong.
i did almost everything to get him out. nothing worked. i walked the whole neighbourhood, danced to my hearts content, acupuncture, ate pineapples, you name it. i did everything. he really wasnt interested in showing up. i did have a few tightening here and there - but ergh. nothing lasted long enough. it was all just practice labour. the night before my induction day ( i was scheduled for induction at 7am. 6am check in, and i needed to call them an hour before check in -5am) , i was losing hope.
i hated the idea of induction. i felt it with Hamza, and did not like every bit of it. i had epidural with Hamza too, but it leaked halfway, and towards the end i felt every single, hard contractions, and so remembered how i was close to just giving up. anyhoo. i was distressed. completely frustrated and scared for whats going to happen the next day.
i text a friend - to ask how she coped with her induction. syz told me she ended up not having to go for an induction because her baby came out right on the day itself! she told me to just talk to Umar, have some time with him and just tell him to try and come out before getting induced. it was my last and only hope. so i did. i rubbed my belly gently and remembered not finding the words, ended up crying a whole lot. Azhar got worried, and told me to remain calm and that, if it is meant to be - it will be, and Allah always knows whats best for us. There's always a bigger hikmah to things that we can't see yet, and maybe after everything we will find out why.
i slept that night with tears in my eyes. after begging Umar a few times and having no contractions at all, i decided to just let it go. i told him, thats okay..if you don't want to come out the way i want you to, whichever way it will be, we will do it together and i will be strong for us..and slept. i remember vividly it was about 11pm.
i was awaken at 2:30am by an uncomfortable cramping feeling (like menstrual cramps), and thought, nahh , another false practice this must be. so i forced myself to sleep again.
2.57am - ohh, ouch this hurt a lot more than before. could it be? ive been feeling this for the past week, must be nothing. slept again.
3.10am - whoaa, that was too strong. how long has it been since the last one - ten minutes?! oh yes!!
i knew it was about to start then - it became regular for every 10minutes, then down to every 8minutes and lasted about a minute long each. i didn't want to wake Azhar up yet, so i decided to just stay in bed and let my body go through what its supposed to do.
i was adamant to stay home for as long as i could, so i did. at about 4.30am , the contractions were now about 7minutes apart, and stronger, i woke Azhar up and told him that ive been timing my contractions and that it hasn't stopped like it did before - he let out a silent Alhamdulillah, and asked if i wanted my hypnobirthing affirmations to be turned on the headphones. i was too excited about the whole thing starting - i said no. i just wanted to sit on my rocking chair and ride the waves of contractions, and told him to pass Hamza to my parents once hes awake.
at 5am i called the hospital and said that my labour has started and asked if it was alright to stay home a little bit longer. They were more than happy to hear that it started on its own, and told me to just check in again by lunch time if the baby is not out yet by then. All was good, i went to take a hot shower.
by 7am, Hamza was already awake, i gave him a kiss before he walked out of our room to be distracted by my dad, i knew that would be the last kiss id give him before introducing him to his baby brother, i felt all kinds of sadness but at the same time so happy to be delivering Umar soon.
After my hot shower the contractions slowed down abit , and i remembered the time being 9am, my mom was getting abit anxious. Dad blew up Hamza's inflatable pool to get him to play longer outside and not be in the house to see me leave. I told Azhar that i wanted to get breakfast outside. He was a bit reluctant at first - worried that the distractions out of the house would slow down my progress, but i knew i needed to be away from home to let my parents be at ease with Hamza, and not see me in so much pain too (haha).
We went to one of my fav cafe's - ordered my usual scrambled eggs with grilled haloumi and spinach, i ordered my usual iced mocha ( it was divine! ) i knew i needed this last meal to keep me energized for birth. I had my contraction timer app on my phone on the table, and for every contraction that came, i just swayed my body left to right while i ate. The guy who served us noticed my contraction app and was like " are you like..in labour?" To which Azhar and i laughed, he talked so much mainly about his wife delivering their second born and it took them just half an hour in the labour room and the baby was already out. I had two contractions while he was talking, and remembered trying hard to keep a straight face while at it - he was such a friendly soul, i didn't want to stop him from talking. He finally stopped talking when i finished my meal - and off we went to the hospital.
it was about 11am , i still found it too early to check in the hospital. So Azhar drove us to a park behind the hospital. We parked, i had my pillow i brought along - that smelt like home, hugged it every now and then when contractions came, it was much more intense i could feel as each wave took place. We jumped out of the car and started walking around the park. Think we did this atleast for a good 10 minutes, then it got hotter. And i got annoyed and needed some cool air. We jumped back in the car and i told Azhar lets just hang at the hospital lobby. In that way - whatever happens, we'd atleast already be at the hospital.
Azhar purposely parked the car 10 minutes away from the hospital (hurgh). He wanted me to keep walking the contractions away. I did. I stopped every once in a while. Taking in contractios as they came, bumped into some strangers walking the opposite direction. Some exchanged smiles, and one guy looked at Azhar as he passed us and said " Ooh, exciting times ahead! Good luck!" I couldnt smile much then, I just needed the air conditioner. Man it was so hot that day.
12ish pm - we were at the lobby just chilling. I remembered feeling so calm and enjoying the cool air from the air conditioner. The plan was to just chill until contractions were atleast 4 minutes apart. It was 5 minutes apart then. I remembered texting a few people to tell them the baby was coming. Azhar left for prayers and told me once he comes back, we should check in upstairs.
12.30pm - we checked in the labour suite. To my surprise the room was spacious. I saw the humongous birthing tub. The idea to hop in seemed interesting, but for some reason i didn't say anything about doing water birth. I think at this point i couldn't care less about anything. The young midwife that attended to us was busy with paperwork, and let Azhar and I do our thing.
I felt so confident seeing Azhar so calm. He knew the drill. He asked if i wanted him to start the diffuser- my "calm" essential oil, and i said yes. He was so helpful, wet a towel with cold water and rubbed my forehead and neck. It helped to distract me from the pain. I couldn't tell how many minutes apart the contractions were at this point - i just felt it was just a lot lot more painful than it was before, downstairs.
Midwife did a VE on me and said i was 5cms. Good progress. I was happy to know i was atleast more than 4cms after all the hardwork i've put in lol. The midwife asked to break my waters, to which i agreed. I wanted to speed things up, and needed Umar to come out asap, to meet my parents who were going to fly back to Malaysia the next morning. She had a bit of trouble trying to break it, kept poking here and there, at this point i felt annoyed - and to my frustration, i screamed in pain when she finally managed to break it - a senior midwife walked in just as i was screaming. She quickly hugged me tight and calmed me down. I felt so much better being hugged so tightly. She was so loving, and motherly, and kept brushing my hair down, telling me that I was doing so well, and that my baby would be out soon. I loved her gentleness , it instantly made me feel better.
I think at that point I asked if I could get an epidural - they said the baby would be out soon, and that if i really wanted one, they could arrange for someone to come in and give it to me - but offered me the gas to cope with the pain.
As the pain of the contractions grew stronger, i remembered sucking in so much gas, that as soon as the contractions ended, i felt so high. haha. like i was in a different world, and the pain numbed a little bit.
I told them I felt something heavy, and that i felt it down below, it was then that i knew it was going to be soon. After which felt forever pushing, huffing and puffing like no tomorrow, Umar was born not long after (5pm). A whopping 3.68kilograms. Almost a kilo more than what Hamza was when i birthed him.I wont ever forget the excruciating pain i felt pushing him out every second of the way.
However, it was still a birth to remember. As I loved how both Azhar and I took control of our way of managing the pain. We were so much more prepared for Umar, a lot calmer, and we just let my body do its thing, when it was ready.
I think Azhar was also glad this time that I didn't twist or hurt him in any way. Bahaha. Things were a lot more under control, albeit some screaming of frustration when my "push" wasn't strong enough to birth Umar out.
It took a long 40 minutes to birth him out. I got so much help from my midwife and the gynae who was present at the last minute of the birth to supervise the whole active labour phase.
They gave Umar to me, and we got our skin to skin for such a long time, while getting stitched, they weighed him and handed him back to me. I was never separated from him at all. Not long after that, Mum and Dad came with Hamza, who was just jumping around the birthing room saying " baby! baby! baby!"
Alhamdulillah for the fact that I did not need to get an induction - although they did break my waters halfway, but it was all good. Labour got to start by itself and I am more than happy to have had it happened that way. The pain was indeed a lot more bearable.
**
Hamza has been enjoying having a little brother to join our days now. He did have a phase where he got confused with this whole other baby - but picked up quickly that Umar wasn't just another baby, and that he is now a part of our lives. He loves to give him kisses and hugs when he gets the chance, and its been a lovely sight to see, alhamdulillah.
0 comments:
Post a Comment