How are you all doing?
It feels rather weird to come back here and start typing away, i've certainly left for far too long, been meaning to come back ( as i always say, ) but life got in my way, and it has been such an interesting experience ever since.
I tend to forget that it was not that long ago that i had yearn to feel what it was like to have a place of my own with Azhar, to be able to perform wife duties, manage my own household and look after each other like all other normal married couples. I feel like ive been doing this living together thing a long time already, but it really has only been a few months, and whats more exciting is that we've finally manage to have a place of our own, and really be stuck to each other...with no way out. Lol
Lets just say Azhar is now convinced that he's married to a 6 year old. Heh. Having said that, it has been a joy getting to do things together, arguing every chance we get and make up the next second because obviously, who else is there to talk to besides each other? I've got to at least annoy somebody....
Anyhow, a quick recap of before we got back here. We finally got the opportunity to perform our Umrah together. Something we both had set an intention for even before marriage. I most importantly felt that our union and wedding arrangements was a huge blessing from Allah, and i couldn't think of any better way to honour this relationship than to have our first honeymoon trip together to Makkah and Madinah. We promised each other no bigger or fancier holiday trips should be planned until after we've gone for this Umrah. And amazingly, Allah made it so easy for us, we got to fly together with my family just months after our nikaah.
Marriage has been exactly what i expected it to be so far. Its a lot of hard work, isn't always a bed of roses ( but by choice you can choose to have it to be if you wanted to ) and has a lot of giving involved. I say giving because if there's one thing i would tell anyone going into marriage - you take the 'taking' out of the equation. I believe the taking part always only happens by the Will of Allah, and that if you only focus on being the giver to your partner, the 'taking' part will in shaa Allah be settled by the Ultimate Giver himself.
I have been blessed so much to be able to practice this way of living with Azhar. I could not have imagined being my slacking, annoying, clingy, annoying ( did i just typed annoying twice? ) version of me with anyone else. It takes practice to be the person my mummy is to my dad. It takes patience to be the wife my mama was to abah. And it certainly takes knowledge, practice and patience to be the wife and companion Khadija (ra) was to our beloved Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).
While i've only just started this journey, i hope Allah grants me ample of time to become this companion and support that i wish to be to Azhar. And though its a big effort to make, i wish at least it'd be a good enough example to have our kids to look up to, to have a marriage mirror-ing the marriage of the Prophet (pbuh) himself. Ameen Allahumma Ameen
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