like every other sundays spent at riding school, today, i witnessed my first fall. they were training bobby, a new thoroughbred, an ex-race horse who had bad experience in the industry. just hearing the kind of things these people do to race horses just breaks my heart. he had ground problems ( funny trots, bouncy, awkward cantering ) but they were still polishing him up to fit the riding school.
one of the girls at the school intended to adapt him, so i got to actually see how they trained him. j was riding him fine though it took them all about half an hour just to set him up. he didn't like the whole saddle majig on him. seemed to always run away as they tightened up his girth. they had to do it hole by hole. one hole, and walked it off. another hole, and walked it off. ktlyn rode him, and poor bobby missed a step, he almost tripped and that was when he panicked, and bucked. naturally, ktlyn let go of the reigns and she fell down with her body smashing against some ground poles and plastic barrels.
my heart stopped. we ran up to her, hoping she didnt break her ribs, but she got up fine alhamdulillah.
well that was my first. it usually doesn't happen, but new un-trained horses a tricky and risky like that. so inshaAllah, i hope i would never have to experience any fall until i really have one for my own.
but anyhow,
usually after riding sessions, i'd come home for a quick shower, and be all domestic and spend my day doing laundry and some cleaning, unless i have lunch dates whatsoever. but i try to stay in more these days, as i find myself hardly at home except to sleep. at 5:30pm i'll make my way to hutt street to join along sumeja and the others for our weekly live classes with syakh abdul aziz fredericks, on 'The book of Assistance - imam al-haddad '.
i made it a point to be consistent in my classes, and to reduce the numbers of you-tube learning, or 'sheikh surfing' on the net as imam afroz would call it. he said that when it comes to the deen, we need to be consistent, and to find a teacher. and not just any teacher, but a teacher whom you feel comfortable with.
in this current confused world that we live in, i personally find it hard to know who to listen to. everyone has their own ways of learning, but for some reason, i am more attracted to the traditional way of learning - which is by face to face. by sitting down listening, seeing, observing the acts and message of a teacher. i was never a fan of online learning, as most of the times, i hardly ever know who the speaker is, and i find online learning a form of modernisation 'innovation' that just kills the traditional intimacy advantage aspect of learning. you don't see your teachers on a daily basis, you can't actually tell whether he lives his life according to sunnah, but you only hear them talk about it.
even the Prophet Muhammad saw learnt the deen from Angel Gibrael face to face, they sat facing each other, and the sahabahs learnt the deen, some directly, and the indirects, would travel a thousand over miles just to be with a teacher, to sit, and study with a teacher physically present. students back then according to the text of Imam al -zarnuji had so much respect for their teachers, some even lived to serve them, just for the high respect they had for the knowledge these teachers had in them. reading classical way of learning would easily make current people think its a form of' taksub' or fanatic towards teachers, but not many understood that it wasnt the teachers that these students of knowledge were preserving. it was the knowledge within these teachers that they had utmost respect of, it was the knowledge of their Lord, Allah swt, through the means of teachers.
Traditional learning involved a lot of sacrifices back then, involved a different kind of intimate, circle of learning. that was the sunnah of our prophet, hence, before we go deeper into the innovations of other things currently around us, shouldn't we first be seeking sacred knowledge,our most basic core, traditionally, the prophetic way ?
and well, that was me being in my bubble. and my hesitant towards technology learning and all that jazz. people can always just spread message and talk about what is right and wrong, but off camera, be living a total opposite life.
i was brought up choosy, selective. and that has both been an advantage and disadvantage for me.
along the way, i learnt how to choose. being blessed by the presence of a strong father figure who exposed us to traditional learning with a shuyukh back home, i decided to seek advice on where to start and to whom to listen to. we've got amazing numbers of online, offline shuyukhs these days subhanallah, and as much of my dislike towards online learning i then became more acceptive towards it after being convinced that it wasn't that bad of an innovation in the aspect of learning at all. knowledge without barriers, subhanallah. good innovation in terms of convenience for helpless muslims like me being abroad with no access to rightly guided shuyukhs to assist me in person.
i was given a list of scholars who were in the same circle as mine back home. and one of them being imam afroz, and sheikh abdul aziz fredericks.
Allah has been ever so Merciful on me, it is true indeed when He said, if we made the intention towards Him and His Messenger, then it will be to Him and His Messenger we would go. alhamdulillah, that was how i met my soul sisters, sumeja, ramiza, aalia etc.
weekly circles became family for me. subhanallah, and its true when habib Ali gave his two cents on seeking knowledge of the deen.
he said,
' to know whether what you're learning is right, look at how it affects you once you gain it. if it makes you harder, and more judgmental towards people and their actions, stay away from it. but if it changes you, only wanting to become better than before, it makes you busy fixing yourself more than anything, makes you more humbler and more loving towards others, then stick close to it.
the right knowledge does not transform us to be judgmental and it is not supposed to make our hearts hard. the knowledge of Allah is beautiful, learn it with patience, with consistency, and its okay to take small steps, as consistency in your small steps is far more blessed than making huge steps and not following through to the end '
may Allah make it easy for you, for me, and for everyone who intends to seek sacred knowledge, towards becoming better, and always towards Him.
wallahualam.
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