ready?

i've been meaning to write. i've been meaning, meaning, meaning to pen my thoughts down. and its weird. because i hardly, ever, want to write when i'm content. or when i'm at ease.

but off late, i've been through an emotional roller coaster. i'll be all cool and calm, and 3 seconds later, my heart starts beating like no tomorrow. flushed with anxiety and panic. i'm not sure if i'm ready for this.

i dive into work. well, i try to. off late, there's hardly anyone at the office, its hard to keep to my pace. i feel like i'm somehow slacking with lack of pressure from all angles. excuses, excuses.

hello 2014, when did you arrive ? i felt like it was just yesterday that i was worried about how working life would be. to know that was more than a year ago, is just mind-blowing.

when it comes to marriage, i don't think anyone will ever feel ready. we just brave through the road and worry about the bridge when we get to it ( my assumption ). at times like these, you'd need a friend. a very good friend, who has walked down this path, who has tasted every ounce of nervousness and anxiety, to be able to guide you through.

i am, forever blessed to have been in touch with an old old friend back in my primary days. i take it that Allah swt sent me her just at the perfect time. we lost touch for more than 10 years, only to be reconnected back through Seekers Guidance. what started of as a ' salamalaykum, how have you been ? ' turned into a weekly conversation of ' inshaAllah, that is all normal, just remember to keep our intentions clear, and that syaitan will do anything and everything they can to make sure this union won't happen, '

i learned and gained so much in this short amount of time of being in touch with her. alhamdulillah, she'd share with me naseehah's on random lectures she went to of marriage issues, and things that her elders would advise her on, things that reminds her of her duties as a wife, and its these kind of sharings that every girl would need and want to hear and to be reminded of while walking down this path.

because it has benefited me so much, i thought i'd put it down, for you, and for my future self, knowing so well that i will need this again, someday.

some tips about marriage life that she gained with her husband during a private session with their family's ustadh every fridays,

the ustadh mentioned how he wasn't going to give them the things they already know about marriage. which is the normal : be patient, tolerant and stuff. he reminded them that through experiences of old married couples, is that they live to GIVE. how important it was to understand that of course we need to receive in order to give, but that our main thing is to be giving.

he mentioned how there are two different personalities, One, is the giver and another, is the person waiting to receive/ get something.

the receiver is arrogant in his gestures and goes home to his wife all cold and wanting appreciation, and the wife too, after a hard's day work.

but the giver, is always positive on his outlook. he and she can't wait to give love when he comes home from work, and is always thankful for their spouses, even faults are blessings to them. he said that in tests are also blessings.

upon hearing this, my heart felt like it was being uplifted. subhanallah, how lovely the concept of marriage is. i'm not sure if i'm going to say its going to be easy, but it sure is a good one to try and practice on. it always feels good being able to give. to cook, to clean, to look after another, its all amazing and sweet. oh please don't start giving me the whole ' wait until you get into each other's nerves ' haha, i am forseeing alot of that inshaAllah, i just hope that you'd still pray for patience in both of us.

well i guess, you know you're nervous about things when you start reading on books that talks about the duties of a wife. i picked up a book, ' The Ideal Muslimah ' sometime last year, lent to me by a dear friend here in Ade, a book written by Muhammad Ali al-Hashimi which i found very enlightening.

it wrote about stories and hadiths about strong women in Islam, women like Siti Khadijah (ra), Aisya (ra), Umm Salamah, and their beautiful and strong characters towards Islam and how they took care of their husbands.

it goes deeper into the duties of a Muslimah by first starting on characteristics of a good daughter, a good wife, and then to a good daughter-in law, mother, and then their contribution towards society.

i'd recommend this book to any ladies out there wanting to know your rights and obligations towards yourself, your family and husband. the stories in this book are really inspiring. subhanallah, to be able to reach to their level of commitment and faith, would be such a great blessing.

sheikh afeefuddin al-jailani said during his lecture with Peace Meal on 'Stories of Women in Prophecy'

"mothers, are the source of akhlaaq (virtue/morality ) in society"

he touched on stories of great women in Islam, of Saidatina Hajar (ra), Saidatina Maryam (ra) and Saidatina Khadija (ra) of which, i will save for a later date in the next post inshaAllah, as i've only heard of the lecture recording halfway, and am so excited to hear Sheikh Ninowy's and Syakh Abd Aziz's part of the 1 hour and 30 minute lecture

til next time, inshaAllah.