the hows

how can you tell ? if what comes by your way was something meant for you , in a good way, or a test?

i wish somehow, for each things that came my way, i could tell there and then whether to stay or walk away.

life doesn't come in a manual like that. and that is why it is called ' medanul imtihan ' a place for tests.

life is a test. for all of us.

we are tested in so many ways that could bring us up, or pull us down. either way, a test will always be a test. always, always for the greater good. in reaching Him and only for Him.

i can't tell you what you're going through is a test that will bring good or bad.

but i can tell you this.

if something comes your way, and all you ever find yourself doing is praying for the greater good, for a blessed, barakah-filled life, where the end destination is meeting the Most Beloved, and your loved ones in Jannatul Firdaus, inshaAllah, i place my trust that it is what He wills it to be.

my story has its twist and turns, things i never imagined would come my way. things i've done wrong, and ones i did right - it shaped me to what i am today.

from all the wrong things, its clearer to me to know what kind of temporary life i'd like to be in. it shows me what kind of support system i'd want for myself in order to achieve Jannah. and if granted kids, it makes me want to be able to do what is best for them, and i owe it to my young ones to choose someone capable of being what the Prophet s.a.w was.

where his weaknesses, becomes my strength. and where my weaknesses, become his.

i prayed for a life partner who is humble, has an amazing, soft natured heart, compassionate with others, always wanting to  choose to see the best of others even if he was presented 50 reasons not to. a partner that uplifts me in every way possible, pushing me to be the best that i can, believes in my strength, and is confident that things will be placed as He wants it to be, with both our efforts combined in reaching Him.

how do i know all this?

i don't. but i have with me a book of guidance, containing thousands of revelations, words of promises only from Him, by Him to those He promises to love to as long as we seek Him in the things we do. I have with me, His beloved, his exemplary life he left behind for us to follow, his teachings, and a man who is aware and is equally as thirsty if not more, when it comes to learning more about matters of the deen.

i don't know many things.

but i do know one thing.

i trust, that He looks after you, and after me, every step of the way. especially when its set to make things right only for Him and to Him.

i trust, that i may have just found the answer to my istikharah prayers.