two in a row

i used to promise myself to blog things daily. a commitment that became difficult to stick to as I grew older. weekly, i said. at least weekly. weeks turned into a month, and a month turned into months and the gap goes wider and wider.

its amazing looking back at past entries, on how persistent i was keeping up with this space. making sure it would be filled with things i've done, things i went through, with the intention to share and keep them, knowing some day i'd read it all back, and be proud that i got through it all.

i'd remember the happy days where i first experienced independence. college life wouldn't be what it was without the friends in it. dramas, let downs, frustrations all locked in. The best part is always reading them back. and having this strange feeling that it has all passed. that act of trying to remember how it all felt, converts into strength. once upon a time, i never thought i could over come them, well look at where im standing now.

like it or not, it is always just a phase.

during bad days i'd have posts saved in drafts, and never gets published. i dont believe in trying to re-write on something that is meant to come naturally. once saved, its normally left there. because those flush of feelings will be gone upon second try. and whatever comes after that would be an act of force. not natural, hence, not advisable.

hooray to me, i've finally ended my university years, and waiting for graduation this coming september, inshaAllah. a lot took place ever since i first came to ade, my heart squeezes itself upon realizing that someday ill be leaving this place. i got used to this foreign place ive been calling home for the past 2 years and a half. im not entirely sure if im ready to let it go.

it shaped me into this character that i am. with mixtures of experience from the past, i hope what ill become in the future would be a good, solid mould of what a muslimah should be. of what a woman should carry. mistakes, you've taught me well, and i am willing to make more of them.

so wherever it is that life takes you, whatever it is that you are facing, hardship or even happiness, know that everything is just a phase. learn to place expectations in the palm of your hands and never your heart, because its not yours to control. accept, and be true to your heart.