phases

its just a phase

4 most comforting words i can ever think of, convincing myself that everything is going to be okay sooner or later. even if it meant months of pretentious acceptance. well eventually, i'll get there.

i've got there, of course.

its always a matter of determination. how badly you want things. passion, the drive, the willingness to put yourself out there and be exposed to probably series of rejection. its not always a smooth sail, but definitely makes you thicker.

its got a bit to do with luck.

and well, what happened to me was that small bit. alhamdulillah. this could be a test in disguise, none of us knows, but whatever happens from here, will shape me into a better person in the future. i'm positive.

fiona tells me that i am a very positive person. and that i had a mind that always searched for something different and not only by what the books can offer me, enthusiastic, which she finds powerful. getting that from a lecturer who also happens to be my tutor, meant a lot to me.

the mixture of social exposure i got taught me to be okay with other's differences. and to value uniqueness. to always be comfortable with your own identity, and not become a follower. and though at one point i doubted my own self, it is now slowly starting to pay off.

its a choice to be dissatisfied with what others have or to be completely happy with what we have. the consequence to that is your own to deal with.

well okay, jumping in between stories has always been my thing. they dont always have to relate. just the way i roll.

so the point is. i need your prayers for an important interview ill be put through this thursday. it is my very first real job offer here in ade and im pretty nervous about things. im glad that tomorrow is anzac day which means we get a day off and i plan to spend the whole day just killing myself with thoughts, overthinking role plays and awkward situations that are bound to happen in the boardroom.

heck not.

bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
maktub, it is wriiten.
if this was meant to be, it will happen. so my job is to perform my very best, and hope for the best, and leave it to the Best of Planners.

wallahualam