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it has been a while since i last did a template this way. bismillahirrahmanirrahim.


reading old posts has never been so interesting. im glad for this space, im grateful for the reminder. of paths not taken, of decisions wrongly made, of choices correctly chosen.

all in all, it thought me 1001 lessons in life. the key is to always never stop.

along first half of it, i almost lost myself, almost drowned into what i believed was the right move, right choice. but certainly who am i to ever confirm something of such importance?

i have no say. the last words have never been mine. as much as i wanted it to be, my only might it to put in effort in everything i do, and leave the rest to Him.

reading back, im glad i wrote every random moments in. sometimes you detect a crack. so fine, that it hits you upon first read through. i wrote it, hence i remembered how it exactly felt at that moment. being reminded of that awkwardness, hiding it behind silly metaphors, in a language so familiar yet foreign at the same time. it was one of those moments where you go, ' aha. that was it, right here,'

and its readings like these that answers my whys and how comes. brutally, it makes me feel somewhat foolish. but hey, i fought for it. soldiered on, with hopes and dreams. the rest, was all up to Him, yes ?

knowing, realizing that it is not within my control, accepting that there is a greater force, the Almighty, the Knowledgable of whats seen and unseen, this disappointment somehow is pushed aside.

after all, there are always far better things ahead, than any, we leave behind.

yakin dengan aturan Allah. jangan pernah buruk sangka dengan aturanNya.

wallahualam.