in between

things like obligations and choices. if i play well, both of them might go along, most of the time they dont. me and poor choices of course. it gets me to places i never thought i could get to. im not proud of it, but i dont regret it as well. well most of them i dont. the rest will be considered as lessons. says the optimistic one.

life involves series of late nights with dbs and slides. unlike old times where i used to have caffeine for company, i stick to the clearer version of liquid on an attempt to burn excessive fats on my body. in an attempt. it is definitely not as easy as creating them in the first place. sometimes i wish it was just like the old times. just let it out on the wall, climbing my way up and down every day without fail. after every hard day, it is the one place where i push things away and concentrate on just pushing myself to greater heights - literally. heh. those were great days far behind me now.

and i always wonder if i could ever get back to it.

i hate it whenever i have to say that. ' wonder if i could ever get back to it,' because it sounds so negative. and as if a military tank was going to shoot me down if i forced myself to get back into what i love. no one is stopping, i know. and so , there, i scrapped it off. life is filled with choices to choose from, dreams to work on. dad always said that if you find yourself not getting where you want to be in life, then probably you're not wanting it bad enough.

ill get back to the walls. i promise. in a more advanced version of my life im sure. walls were one incident that was accidental, but decided to stay on on purpose. they've always been there when i needed them to be. like my very own measurement of success, in terms of personal enhancement and life itself as a whole.

one chapter of my life is coming to its end, i can feel it. and i still have a lot more to learn. whats lovely to notice is that how different things are now than it was before. surely it has not been easy, having to deal with a lot of unexpected(s) along the way, but all is good. all is really good.

because i know the hiccups and bumps were all there for a reason. every single one of them. it just makes me appreciate the people i had with me since the very start a lot better than before. and looking at things now, boy have i got a lot more to go through.