either way, we end up the same.

i'm trying to look smart here. forgive me, again for blogging on uni grounds.

i can't help myself. its like a love-hate relationship going on with this life i lead. i love it simply because its what i've always wanted. and then the difficulties kicks in, in forms of sample exam papers, being homesick, paying bills and rent, i start wishing how easy everything would be if i just kept my mouth shut and dreams subtle - i'd have been happily dancing my way through my living room.

i'd like to believe this heart confliction makes me more human.

but you see, its not all the time like this. i'm confident the minute i walk out of this library and have the cold wind hugging me all the way home, bus rides and long walks, really long walks, it will all feel better. it balances out, and thats what makes it special.

there are relationships worth holding on to. there are ones that are worth the second or even third try. but there are also the ones that aren't all that.

the idea is to have something worth the hurt, something that complements each other's weaknesses and writes off the bad. its something that just fits right, feels right without even having to try so hard.

there you go, its not hard to notice how ive managed to econo-ccountify myself in a few weeks.

and im not even half-way done yet, pfft.

5 minutes gone. back to seriousness.