if it kills me,

 " You know, " he began. Their minutes of silence was finally broken. Katie then realized she was still at the park, sitting on her favourite swing, and Paul was still sitting on the bench watching her.

  " I wonder when enough will ever be enough for you, " he continued. Katie pretended not to hear what he said. She began swinging her body forward and backwards, both legs pulled forward and then bent, alternately. She loved doing this. Swinging was like flying. She wanted her thoughts to take her away just like how it always does when she came to this park, on this swing.

  Paul was just the right company, the right person for her to spend the evening with. He need not to be explained on the 'why's and 'how's, for he was one of the few who knew how she worked, who knew how she thinks, how she functions. Paul was like a walking manual to Katie. No one knew or understood their friendship. No one. It didnt matter to Katie, nor did it matter to Paul, they needed no one to understand what they were.

  He came right after he read her text message to him. Same place, xx. He knew what it was all about. 

  " Same shit? " he asked

   Katie nodded. Still busy swinging, she focused her eyes on a crow carefully placing itself on a branch of the tree opposite her. She then shut her eyes, and released her thoughts flying away to wherever it wants to.

   She wanted so badly to picture it again, the same park, the same spot.

   She suddenly saw herself walking up the stairs of the park. It was night time. She was running towards the swing she was sitting at. She saw herself as someone else. Her running stopped. She was distracted by a movement further upfront. Katie turned around, there was a couple in the dark, behind the shadows of a distant tree. She turned to herself again. She saw how she turned back and walked towards a figure behind her,who was now walking up the same stairs she ran from,

   " What's wrong? " he asked.

   " I'm scared, " she answered.

   " Of what? "

   " There's something behind there, or, someone atleast, " she said

   " Dont worry hun. Go sit on the swing. I'm right here. I'll watch over you, " he said as he slowly makes his way to the bench nearby.

   Katie felt herself flying that night. The strong wind hitting her bare skin, she felt light, she was happy.

  " How's your mood? " he asked, smiling towards her.

  She remembered that stare so well, those eyes, and that smile. She wondered how the simplest things in life were far beyond her reach now. How it came to this point of difficulty. How disappointing the same things that made her happy back then, turned out to be.

  She felt a tear coming. The pain in her chest grew deeper. The next thing she knew, it was evening. She quickly looked at the bench nearby, and she saw Paul instead.

  " Dont do that, you know it'll hurt more, "

  " Sometimess I wish it was always that simple, " she wiped her tears away

  Paul saw the pain on her face. She doesn't wear that look often. No one would know how Katie really felt. She's good in keeping it in. He knew he wasn't helping. 

   Not this time, he heard himself saying. Its too deep.

  " Come." he said, "That's enough now. I'll walk you home, " 

   Paul climbed down the bench. Waited for Katie to stop her swinging. Both of them walked home in silence.