So I'm spending half of my day in bed, and another half of my day doing a little bit of chores and coursework. The initial plan was to start early. Well, every plan was to start early. But it never happened.

I wake up everyday thinking I'm still at home. Until I open my eyes and start registering my surrounding. My white painted walls, my wooden desk on the right, my white colored closet in front of me, the laundry basket - oh I'm at home alright. Just not the one I've been waking up to for the past 19 years. And then there's a big hole in my chest.

At times I get it, most of the times I just don't. And I try not to complain so much, because I try to see the greatness to this all. I'm living the dreams of many people who would want to be in my shoes, so then I thank God for this wonderful chance. This whole cycle of having to place myself back to where I should be, gets pretty tiring sometimes. When will I ever learn. When will the whole missing and longing stop.

I have a feeling it wont ever will. Because that will be my solid ground. Something that is meant to remind me of what got me here and what will always be with me as I climb up higher.

Cik Salmah home sick lagi lah, tapi takpe, mummy kata it will all be okay, daddy kata, anak dia dah besar. Filzah kata nanti kita skype lepas dia balik camping. Rudy kata, jangan rindu dia sangat ( perasan :P ) , Sahab kata, he knows I'll pull through because I always do.

So, amacam?

Jom pi minum coffee.